The path of knowledge is direct. Generally we take the mind to be real and then try to find solutions to handle it. In the path of knowledge, one enquires into the very nature of the mind. What is the mind? Is it real or unreal? Thus self-enquiry along with self-observation reveal the illusory nature of the mind and finally its non-existence. As long as we try to solve the problem with solutions, there are chances for the problem to re-appear in other forms. Here the problem is not solved, it is dissolved.
When we enquire into the nature of the mind we discover that the mind is a flow of thoughts. There are countless thoughts in this thought-producing machine called mind. We generally try to control the quantity of the thoughts and eliminate these thoughts to gain peace. Without understanding the basic nature of the mind when we try to do this it proves futile. Every day in deep-sleep we become thought-less. Yet, is there any transformation in us when we wake up? No. Why? Because we have not understood the nature of the mind. Let us first attempt to understand the mind.
Countless thoughts of the mind are classified under two categories – ‘i-thought’ and ‘this-thought’
‘i-thought’ is the thinker. ‘this-thought’ is all the thoughts.
‘i-thought’ is the subject. ‘this-thought’ is the objects.
The objects include not only gross objects like pen, pot, car, book etc. but also subtler feelings and emotions like anger, greed, love, compassion etc. Even the intellectual concepts, ideals etc. are object of thoughts. All these thoughts depend on the ‘i-thought’ because ‘i’ have these thoughts. When ‘i-thought’ is absent, as in deep-sleep there are no ‘this-thoughts’ Thoughts depend on the thinker. Objects depend on the subject.
Thus from countless thoughts, mind is now understood as – ‘i-thought’ What is this i-thought?
i-thought
There is in us a certain notion of who we are. It is a bundle of thoughts and those about one’s identity are called ‘i – thoughts’. These include all self judgments: self esteem, self worth, inferiority/superiority complexes. These are various forms of the i–thought. All thoughts that are self-descriptive are called ‘i-thought’. It includes self-descriptions at various levels:
Physical – I am fat, thin, lean, fair, dark etc.
Mental – I am happy, sad, positive, angry, proud, loving etc.
Intellectual – I am successful, knowledgeable, bright & brilliant etc.
Spiritual – I am a seeker, meditator etc.
Fairness is the nature of the body and its an object of thinking. It is ‘this-thought’ but when I identify with it and say – ‘I am fair’ then it has become ‘i-thought’ because it describes me. Similarly, anger arises in the mind and it is ‘this-thought’ but when I say – ‘I am angry’ then it has become ‘i-thought’
Thus all self-descriptive thoughts are called ‘i-thought’ or the Ego. This is our psychological mind. Most of us give validity to this bundle of self-descriptive thoughts and have taken for granted that we are these and these thoughts are us. Thus each one of us is living alone in our own shell of self-descriptive thoughts. This is ‘samsaar.’ All our success, failures, insults, praise, happiness, sorrow etc. are built upon this self-description. Each one fights with the rest of the world from one’s own shell and leads a life of misery, sorrow and lonliness, craving for love & security.
The ego, the thinker is ASSUMED by us to be a Real-Entity. Once we have accepted this, the ego produces many more children – desire, anger, insecurity, lonliness, pride, lust, jealousy, passion etc. and we keep fighting with these weaknesses trying to overcome each one of them. If earlier we fought with others, now we fight with our weaknesses.
While we are doing this, the ego remains intact and unaffected. Infact the ego takes the form of the seeker and is doing sadhana to eradicate its weaknesses. But the source of all weakness – ego itself, remains unaffected. Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi gave a beautiful example to illustrate this – the thief commits robbery in the night and the next day morning becomes the police-man who is searching for the robber. Can the policeman ever catch this robber? Untill the enquiry turns on the policeman himself, the robber will never be caught. Similarly unless the Ego/Thinker/i-thought/mind itself is enquired into, they cannot be eliminated. This does not mean that we should not do sadhanas to overcome the negative tendencies of the mind. But one must know that these sadhanas are to prepare the mind to turn its attention on itself and prepare for self-enquiry.
Thus to summarise – mind is a flow of thoughts. Many thoughts of the mind are classified into 2 categories – ‘i-thought’ and ‘this-thought’. On further enquiry one finds that ‘this-thoughts’ depend on ‘i-thought’. Hence ‘i-thought’ is the mind. The ‘i-thought’ also continuously changes. Enquiry into the substratum of the i-thought reveals the True I – the Changeless Self and the ‘i-thought’ disappears.
Self-Enquiry
Enquire into the assumption – Are the self-descriptive thoughts real? Is the thinker real? Is the mind real? The thinker is a bundle of thoughts. Think!
The thinker is not a constant entity which remains changeless. It’s a bundle of self-descriptive thoughts which changes every moment with the changes in the objects of its identification. Eg. Today the body is young so I am young. Tomorrow it will be old so I will be old. Thus the thinker is continuously renewing itself, re-inventing himself/herself. In self-enquiry one does not accept the self-descriptive thoughts and enquires into the Changeless Substratum of these thoughts. There is a Changeless presence in us due to which we are aware of the changes. That is not a thought or bundle of thoughts. Enquiry is “Am I the BMI? Who am I? who? who? Who?” Thus when one enquires, some answers will arise – I am young. I am son of so and so. I am successful. I am sad etc. Self Enquiry is not to accept these and keep enquiring – who has these thoughts? The answer comes – ‘i’ Enquire – who am i? Observe the answers to ‘who am i?’ Self-Enquiry must be accompanied by Self-observation.
Self-observation
The thinker is also a thought and all the sadhana that we are doing is nothing but one bundle of thought working on another. When we are agitated or miserable or extremely elated, usually we bring another thought bundle to handle it. We introspect, analyse or repeat the mantra etc. All these are thoughts working on thoughts. No doubt they are useful to a certain extent. But being thoughts they have limitations that they are temporary. They cannot solve the situation deeply.
Understanding this deeply transforms the nature of sadhana. No more I try to do something to the thoughts, but I detach from them and just observe. Observation is our nature. It is permanent. We are infact relaxed when we observe. Thinking, analyzing etc. is a strain. Thoughts come and go. They consume energy. Attention/Observation is our nature. Unbiased and impartial observation subsides the agitation because I no more fuel the thoughts or the thinker. Eg. If one has sorrow about some incident, one may try to repeat the mantra, analyse or introspect etc. and temporarily the sorrow may reduce. In observation one just observes the sorrow. One doesn’t even bring in words or thoughts to say – this is sorrow. One does not analyse – why am I sorrowful? Who is the cause? Etc. No verbalization. Just observe the sorrow and automatically the mind will reveal the cause of sorrow, the attachments, the hidden arguments etc. One does not probe into it. Just keep observing. If one can do this, the sorrow subsides along with the attachments, justifications etc. and one is freed completely once and for all from it. In this way when one observes the thoughts, one can clear the various layers of thoughts and one comes to the root cause of all thoughts – the ‘i’-thought – the thinker.
Self-observation leads to Self-Realisation
Observe the formation of the i-thought. ‘Inalertness is death’ says the Upanishads. The way of wisdom leads to dispassionate self observation. In observation I watch the answers the mind gives to the Self-Enquiry without any justifications. I observe impartially. All the hidden fears, supportive arguments, deep rooted beliefs that I am this limited individuality, get exposed. Thus the mind is freed from these limitations. By observation one can see the ego being built brick by brick. When we develop the ability to observe, the ego which could’ve gone upto 100ft, reduces to 60ft. then comes down to 40ft and as the observation increases, the ego does not rise at all ultimately.
Symbolically The third eye of Lord Shiva is the eye of pure attention. It’s the eye of Self-Observation which destroys the ‘world’ i.e the ‘duality’ when it is awakened, by destroying the fictitious entity – ‘i’- the ego.
In Self-Observation there is no analysis, judgement, justification, indulgence or resistence of i-thoughts. I am merely witnessing/observing the i-thought and its formation. I am not watching the mind with preconceived ideas of good or bad. Not branding the thoughts as right or wrong, pure or impure. I don’t judge the observation too as – ‘I am observing well today’ or ‘today I am getting attached to thoughts and observation is impure’ etc. even if such thoughts arise one observes them dispassionately without resisting or indulging in them. This is WWW – Watch Without Worry.
Watch, watch, watch! As we witness the i-thought in us, sometimes we cannot remain as witness and we seem to react. At such times when pure observation is not possible, take the help of Self-Enquiry and enquire – Who reacts? Immediately the answer will come – ‘i’ enquire – ‘who am i?’ Come back to Observation and watch the little ‘i’ that reacts. Watch without comments, watch without complaints. Watch the present i – thought. In its death, the true ‘I’ shines forth of its own accord. This is Self-Realisation.
Thus Self-Enquiry Leads to Self-Observation. Self observation leads to Self-Realisation.
Self-Enquiry without Self-Observation is blind.
Self-Observation without Self-Enquiry is lame.
Both go hand in hand and lead to Self-Realisation. Self-Enquiry merges into Self-Observation and the observation also becomes non-verbal at advanced levels. Finally the observation also stops because the observer itself dissolves. Then there is nothing to observe. Just Pure Awareness.
In every other path, we have to ‘do’ something. Here, just Be and See. Sri Adi Shankaracharya calls this as – Samyag Darshanam which means ‘Seeing Well’ or ‘Right Vision’. How to see?
Observation has no steps. Observation is the way to observation. To discover space we don’t have to go to the top of the hill, walk, climb etc. Space is all pervading. We have to Just see it. Same way – Pure Existence-Consciousness-Bliss is our nature. Immortality is our nature. We have to just see it.
When we keep looking at someone continuously, he/she feels very uncomfortable at our stare and will disappear. Thoughts & the Thinker feel uncomfortable at the stare of Observation and they disappear. To be alert and aware, free from the ego is the highest tapas says Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi in the Upadesha Saara.
Concluded.
Swami Swatmananda is a renunciate monk, a disciple of Swami Chinmayananda serving at Chinmaya Mission Mumbai. @ChinmayaShivam is his handle
