‘No Mangalsutra Or Bindi, Why Would Your Husband Show Interest?’ Judge Asks Woman During Domestic Violence Case

While we have heard of famous judgments by the Madras and Gauhati High Courts, wherein men were granted divorces as their wives refused to wear traditional symbols of marriage like mangalsutra and sindoor, a comment made by a judge in a Pune court is now making rounds on social media.

In a LinkedIn post, Ankur R. Jahagirdar, a Disputes Lawyer in Pune, narrated an incident involving an off-hand remark made by a judge in the Pune court.

Jahagirdar noted that during a domestic violence matter that appeared before the judge for mediation, the judge asked the woman in the case, “I can see that you are not wearing a mangalsutra and bindi. If you don’t behave like a married woman, why would your husband show any interest in you?”

He mentioned that the couple had separated a while ago, and the judge was encouraging them to resolve their dispute amicably. However, in the course of the mediation, the judge made this comment to the woman.

Tip of the iceberg

Narrating another incident, Jahagirdar wrote, once judge said, “If a woman is earning well, she will always look for a husband who earns more than her and will never settle for someone who earns less. However, if a man who earns well is looking to marry, he might even marry a maid who washes utensils in his house. Look how flexible men are. You should also show some flexibility. Don’t be so rigid.”

Jahagirdar further added that he didn’t like these comments. “However, what I didn’t like more is that neither the client nor an onlooker such as myself really had any proper recourse against such off-hand remarks made by judges,” he added.

Tagging these incidents as merely the tip of the iceberg, Jahagirdar said that there is a lot more that happens in district courts that would shock the conscience of any rational-thinking educated person. “Unfortunately, I think our society has a baseline tolerance for some outrageous things. Why it is this way is obvious — the first rule of the patriarchy club is you do not talk about the patriarchy club,” he concluded.

The comments, definately are not isolated incident. Following the Gauhati High Court’s 2020 ruling, social media users flooded platforms with images of themselves without the customary marriage symbols like “sindoor” (vermillion), “mangalsutra” (sacred thread), and others.

The Gauhati High Court had ruled that a man’s wife’s unwillingness to wear “shakha” (a conch shell bracelet) and “sindoor” amounted to her refusal to accept the marriage. This judgment sparked a deluge of posts under the hashtag #WithoutSymbolsOfMarriage.