Relationships are always precious in our lives, be it our family or friends. It is often said that meeting people and connecting or even making friends at a slightly older age or even post-30s is tough. At times, even the friend’s circle dwindles and you are left with those close to be counted on your fingers. We talk about whether friendships are a possibility after you turn 30.
What’s the deal?
When asked if meeting, connecting and making friends post your 30s is tough and friend circle dwindles, Parth Gupta, Co-Founder and Head Psychologist, of The Mind Mojo, reveals, “It feels more difficult as we grow older because we perceive challenges more acutely and become more sceptical. The circle shrinks as one starts prioritising quality over quantity in friendships. Additionally, with the lack of time, maintaining friendships without genuine bonding becomes challenging. Suddenly, those gossip sessions feel more annoying than enjoyable.”
Vidya Khan, a psychologist, hypnotherapist, somatic and energy coach, adds, “Psychologically we have become mature by age of 30 having capabilities to see through a person and knowing your priorities. Family, work, children and money responsibilities have kicked in. Pressure of ambition also becomes larger by 30. Friends and making new friends have taken a back seat. Post 30 socialising with friends and making new friends becomes a matter of choice and priority.”
Actress Delnaaz Irani (52) does think it is one thought many have about not making friends as one grows old. “I think you can make friends at any age. If you’re a people’s person and your outlook on life is positive, and you’re not stuck up, you can make friends even at an older age. That’s what I believe. Yes, people say that when you grow older, your patience level decreases, and your circle becomes more close-knit. When you’re young, you tend to trust anybody and everybody. But as you age, life experiences teach you that not everyone is trustworthy. So, your friend circle naturally becomes smaller, which is fair. You also don’t want to open up to strangers anymore. Trust becomes a key factor, and you rely on friends who’ve been with you through the years. Obviously, you don’t tend to make many new friends at a certain age. But I think age is just a number.”
She feels one can still make friends in later life. “I have examples from my own family and experiences to back this up. For instance, I have friends I’ve known for 20–25 years, but I’ve also made friends in the last two or three years who are not just acquaintances—they’re close-knit friends. So, I think it’s a very individualistic thing. It depends on the person. As I said, it’s all about your outlook on life and what you see in a person. I believe if you spread goodness, it will come back to you. It’s all about spreading happiness, and that’s what I feel.”
How to make friends
Actress Rinku Ghosh (42) has found making friends post-30 challenging and enriching. “I’ve found that while it’s harder to meet new people, the friendships I’ve formed later in life are often more meaningful because they’re based on shared values and mutual respect. I cherish the connections I’ve made through work, social events, and social media, where like-minded individuals come together.”
“Making friends as a child is just as challenging as it is for people in their 30s, but as children, we go with the flow, which makes it seem easier,” Parth narrates. “We speak with people, feel awkward around them as we get acquainted, start sharing deeper things, and gradually become comfortable until we realise we’re friends. As adults, we go through the same process; the difference is that we are more aware of it.”
Thus, he suggests that the next time you want to make friends, just come forward and say hi. “You might be surprised to find that they’re also looking for a friend. And, of course, friendships transcend differences in caste, colour, gender, creed, or age—friendship is just friendship.”
Delnaaz speaks from her experience of making friends after the age of 30. “With every show I do, I take back at least one good friend from that project, workspace, or life in general. For example, I’ve been staying in the same residential complex since 2007–2010—so almost 14–15 years now. Interestingly, I only made friends in my building two years ago. For so many years, I was probably busy with work and my own life, not interacting much. But in the last two years, I’ve started engaging with a certain group, and we’re now almost like family.”
Her group of 10-12 people party together, keep in touch, go out in the evenings, have dinner at each other’s place and share all emotions. “It’s as simple as grabbing coffee with a neighbour. Neighbours can become as good as friends, even as good as family. This is my example — my live example—of how friendship doesn’t have an age limit.”
What does it mean?
Delnaaz thinks age is just a number. “There shouldn’t be barriers when it comes to love, friendship, or relationships. If someone is dishonest, they can be dishonest even after 25–30 years of friendship. I believe that whatever happens, happens for the best. If you approach relationships with an open mind, an open heart, and a clean heart, that’s all that matters. When you make someone your friend and give 100%, the rest is up to them. If things don’t work out, it’s their karma. At any given point, age really doesn’t matter. You can make friends even when you’re 70, and that’s what I believe.”
Parth feels friendships made at a younger age are about shared activities and emotional intimacy. “As adults, the dynamics may seem different. Some might say people in their 30s become boring. But the reality is that their definition of fun evolves. Where once getting sloshed was fun, it’s now about finding the perfect coffee blend or the best place to buy pretty plants. And in all this, you need a partner in crime—a friend. The essence of friendship remains the same: fun and emotional intimacy. It’s just the details that change.”
Rinku believes in staying open-minded and approachable. “Making friends post-30 requires effort, but it’s worth it. I try to maintain old friendships by keeping in touch and making time for meaningful conversations. For new connections, I’ve found that pursuing hobbies or interests, like theatre or yoga, has been a great way to meet people. My advice to others would be to not overthink it. Be genuine and kind. Sometimes, friendships don’t have to be long-term; even small, positive interactions can be fulfilling. Most importantly, don’t hesitate to reach out to old friends. Rekindling a bond can be just as rewarding as forming a new one.”
According to Vidya, such friendship is all about ‘deeper conversations, content full connections, intrusions in family, business partnerships and friendships turning into lovers are all part of post 30 friendships.”
Now it is time to think of your post-30s as a new adventure in friendships.
